Bad translations are a constant source of amusement. You can still find amazing stylistic blunders in films, games, books, and blogs. Instruction manuals are already peculiar text formats, even without mistranslations.
Manuals and operating instructions are oddly formulated types of text. In reality, nobody wants to read them, and yet we are constantly surrounded by them. Their completely plain, goal-oriented prose is often tedious, and yet they fulfill an important function.
The almost Dadaist comedy that can arise from this situation makes peculiar translations a recurring theme in pop culture. The most famous example in the German-speaking world is probably Mike Krüger’s Nippel-Lied (Nipple Song). While it may seem rather outdated today, it stormed the charts in the early 1980s.
For a more recent example, watch the instruction manual songs by German singer and producer Paul Wetz, who is very successful on TikTok with his versions of instruction manuals for toasters, TVs, and vacuum cleaners set to music that is reminiscent of early 80s German New Wave known as “Neue Deutsche Welle”.
The highlight remains the performance of Elton John, who was once coerced to set the operating instructions for a stove to music on the spot during a live show. His amazing impromptu performance should convince even the last skeptics of his outstanding talent.
Sometimes the content itself is pretty funny
US-American Stella Liebeck is (accidentally) partly responsible for a specific type of humor associated with operating instructions. In 1992, she spilled scalding hot coffee from a fast food chain on her legs and suffered severe burns.
When the case made global news, it apparently prompted many manufacturers to become overly cautious and publish instruction manuals with absurd instructions that are simply hilarious. German newspaper Welt summarized a few of them in an entertaining article:
“Do not bite or suck on the appliance or the battery.”
(Smartphone)
“Do not iron clothes while wearing them.”
(Iron)
“Do not use while sleeping.”
(Hair dryer)
“Does not enable you to fly.”
(Superman children’s costume)
Funny translations are becoming rarer
Without a doubt, the funniest manuals and operating instructions are the ones that fall into the hands of incompetent translators. Admittedly, the situation has improved in recent years. At least the big brands understand how important the unpopular instruction leaflets of their products are for marketing purposes. Therefore, they ensure that the texts for international markets are translated professionally into the respective languages.
However, there are still translations that cover the whole spectrum from “peculiar” to “completely incomprehensible”.
China is particularly infamous for some of the worst translation errors
German newspaper Hamburger Abendblatt highlighted two spectacular examples of incorrect translations. The first example describes washing instruction for a Chinese-made kid’s pillow:
“Washed instructions. Surface laundry with fabric. Use so apy water. Remove soap with clammy fabric. Gently hug excess water from toy and dry air used hand sling. After pond use, rinse with tap water. Please remove all plastic accessories before the giving for your child this toy.”
Another example points out the (technically correct) instructions for using an iron:
“Press red might button for hot fume for smoothing of creases from tossed around clothes in washing machine. Do not touching surface of iron because of very hot!”
For a long time, Far Eastern companies in particular resisted having manuals and instructions properly translated. Perhaps they simply thought that users didn’t care about these mistakes due to the fascination that the new technologies aroused in Europe and the USA.
Printed instructions remain the best source
The fact that mistranslations in this area can be extremely funny was a topic long before the invention of the internet. Time and again, books and newspaper articles appeared that gleefully collected the variety of stylistic blunders. The web, and social media in particular, took the phenomenon to a new level. Anyone looking for examples on Instagram, Reddit, or Twitter will not be disappointed.
However, the best examples can still be found in typical printed form. After all, operating instructions and user manuals are legally binding. Among other things, this means that incomprehensible or inconsistent texts can even be a legitimate reason to rescind on a purchase. Apart from the negative impact on brand image, this is one of the best arguments for why companies should entrust the instruction manuals to professional translators.
Unpack and rejoice!
German newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung quotes a great text segment. It is worth quoting the instructions for these electric Christmas lights in full. They certainly provide a fascinating glimpse into how the Japanese authors apparently picture a successful German Christmas:
“With senzational model GWK9091 you not get only Teutonic cozzinessfor sweet home, also success as modern human with opposite sexy after Christmas goose eating and longer, because battery much time good long. To bliss achieve under dark fir, very simply manual operation of GWK9091:
1. Unpack and rejoice.
2. Slippel A barely bend and fold into counterstippel B for illumination of GWK9091.
3. With clipp C milled into cote or jacket of life partner and smiling for success with GWK9091.
4. For peculiar Christmas celebratting GWK9091 sit on table.”
5. Four broke or battery more to cozzines complain to: we, Bismarckstrasse 4. Four new battery old battery back four clean world in German forest.”
German newspaper Welt also discovered an equally amazing accompanying text for a string of lights:
“Connect with the electric flow and chekk if the lamps and the jewelry acessories are in order, when there is any problem, it must change be immediately. If there would no problem with the exam, can the L… diverging and in a suitable place to be laying. (…) When using it, must you a void some sharp object that may fracture the string of lights and some hot article that may comeclose to the string of lights. If you would not be able to change the lamp, you can with the manufacturer.”
The following dubious translation of the instruction manual for an air mattress came from the same source:
“If the weather is cold, the brothel substrate will puff slowly. The brothel substrate unrolling and lying on it, then it will get from the heat inflation. If the brothel substrate breaks down just a little, can you it with additional nylon clothing fabric and cement the wet ness always hurts the brothel substrate.”
A legendary US article on translation errors
While poor translations of manuals from Far Eastern brands dominate the field, we should not forget that Western brands have also made a notable contribution.
The following German translation of the Microsoft Word manual for Windows 2.0 from the 1980s is legendary. Whether the English text was significantly better than the translation remains unknown, but either way, we can agree that it is more than just unintentional humor: It is art.
“By linking the print format template of the document to the print format template of the print format template, you can update the print format template of the document template. If you link the print format template of a document with the print format template of a document template, the print format definitions of the document rep lace the print format definitions of the document template with the same name. All print formats in the document’s print format template that are not contained in the print format template are added to it.”
